Wednesday, May 25, 2011

You wrote WHAT? (I.e. Writing Sex Scenes)

Apparently, I have the reputation of writing steamy scenes in my novels. I have no idea how I got that reputation. *Innocent face*.
Well, it's probably because it's true. I love to write steamy romance. But there's more to writing a steamy romance than just the sex scenes. I think that the best scenes work when there is building sexual tension, when the tension has gotten so intense, that it must culminate. And depending on the age group/genre you're going for, the act itself should be written to fit the audience.

 A sex scene in a young adult (YA) novel? Gasp! Yes. There are YA novels with sex scenes. My YA novels *might* have sex in them. But it's not the same type of sex scene you'd read in my adult work. In YA, more important than the physical stuff and the sensations, are the emotions that are involved.  The emotions are more intense, and they are experiencing things for the first time, and it should feel that way.

There has long been a debate about wether or not to include sex scenes in YA books, and I am of the mindset that teens are not as niave as parents would like to think. They are surrounded by sex. TV, movies, music, music videos, books. It's everywhere. They are thinking about it. They're talking about it. Some are already doing it. When I was 14 I was devouring my mom's romance novels. So, I write my scenes with that knowledge. I feel I owe it to my readers to be true to the characters. To follow the scene through. Not just fade to black, like some writers do. Keep in mind my love scenes in my YA are very different than my adult work, but the act is still there. I also feel it's my responsibility to show it in a responsible way. The purpose of the scene isn't to titilate the reader, but to show the growing and changing love between the two characters.

I also know that not all readers are comfortable reading the sex scenes. That is fine. There are tons of books out there that gloss over the details, or might not even have sex in them. I'm sure not all of my books will have sex scenes in them. I only have a sex scene if it is relevant to the plot. But I will always have hot heroes & steamy romance. That's just how I roll. :)







Now, would I let a 12 year old read my work? Probably not, at least not without their parents reading it first and THEM making that decision together. Who knows. Maybe reading my work will open up the dialog between a parent and their kid about practicing safe and responsible sex. That would be awesome.

When my work comes out I'll be posting 'heat level' guides on my website to give readers a chance to make their own decisions about how hot they can handle.

Regardless of the genre/age group that I'm writing for, here are my tips on writing great love scenes:
  1. Build up to the scene. Don't just throw two people into a room and have them start groping. Build the sexual tension to the boiling point.
  2. When you get to the scene, close your eyes, take a deep breath and forget about everything else. Pretend that no one will ever, ever read the scene but you.
  3. Write. Don't stop. Don't think. Don't let your mind tell you what is proper/isn't. Just write the damn scene.
  4. Once it's written, don't look at it. Move on. Write something else.
  5. After you've given it some time to cool off, go back and re-read. Revise. Take out anything that makes you cringe. Blushing is okay, cringing is probably a sign that you should take it out.
  6. Look at the scenes before and after the sex scene. Does it fit? Did you just throw it in for shock value? Does it add something to the plot? If you said no to the first or third, or yes to the second, cut it and put it in another file. That means it shouldn't be there in the first place.
  7. If you've decided it fits, and contributes to the plot, go through it again. Does it read like a bad porn script? If so, you've got some work to do. Don't just focus on the actions/body parts. Focus on the sensations, the feelings, the emotions. Infuse that into the scene.
  8. Have multiple beta readers. Sex scenes are notorious for getting different reactions from different readers. Especially with YA. Consier their opinions, but do what feels right for the story.
  9. Trust your agent/editor. Don't be afraid to tone it down, or heat it up. Trust their guidance.
Okay - that's all I've got. Ultimately, whether or not you include a sex scene in your book is completely up to you and your comfort level. Remember, in the end, ideally, thousands of people will be reading your work. If you are not 100% comfortable with having strangers read it, then consider cutting it. Just because there isn't a sex scene in your book doesn't mean it won't sell. Amazing books sell, regardless of their sexual content.

Here's some extra reading on writing sex scenes: (Caution - graphic language might be used - reader discression is advised.)

An agent's take on writing sex scenes
A hilarious post about writing sex scenes.
Yet another hilarious post on writing sex scenes.
Karen Wiesner's 20 steps on writing great love scenes
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article6536266.ece

What about you? How do you feel about reading/writing love scenes?

14 comments:

  1. At last! :) This is a fantastic post - thanks for your honesty.

    I'm curious, with teens, you say you focus on the emotional state more. Do you address feelings like fear, apprehension, concerns about body image, even (heaven forbid) disappointment? Pain/discomfort the first time? I guess what I'm asking is, how honest do you get? Because I do love romance (heating to boiling) and we all want love to be perfect, but we all know it rarely ever is. How and to what extent to you address this?

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  2. Absolutely. I address all those things in my books. :)

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  3. I loved this post. With so many of the sensations swirling around in the brain it is a shame a lot of novel's wordage is centred down with the plumbing. ;)

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  4. I am awful at sex scenes! Glad to know there's a few people out there that rock it out!

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  5. Hahaha!!! I love it!! And you crack me up. Blush = yes cring = no. This is really solid advice though. Seriously. You've done an awesome job breaking it down. And I agree!! As long as it's important to the story, it belongs. Even in YA. I *might* have some of that too. Ahem.

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  6. Great post! I love, love, love a good sex scene, and I absolutely would put one in my YA if it called for it. I recently read the 3rd book in a series where the characters did the "deed" and the author didn't even do a hot makeout scene first. I thought that was crazy! But that's just me. It was 3 sentences and I swear she used the word "fireworks". I almost stopped reading right that very second.

    Writing those scenes was so fecking difficult when I first did it, but you're right. You have to act like you're the only one who will EVER read it to get it just right. Writing it with emotion rather than as the act is incredibly important I think. Especially if you're writing from a female pov, b/c ultimately, isn't that what sex is for us? Emotion?

    Anyway! I could talk about this subject for hours. So I'll just shut up now. Great post:)

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  7. Fantastic post! So well said and great tips. Thanks.

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  8. I love the tip about writing the scene like no one else will EVER read it and then coming back to it after writing a few more scenes. I think I get uncomfortable and edit myself as I write, even with a hot make out scene because I'm hearing what my mom might say or my husband or...
    Building up the tension to the boiling point is something I really enjoy doing! Lol! And my current WIP I have no idea if they'll do the deed or not, it's up to the characters if they boil over or not. ;)

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  9. I think you hit the proverbial nail on its head--YA requires responsible writing of sex scenes for the purpose of the story, not for the purpose of turning the reader on. I don't know that I'll ever write sex scenes into my YA...not that I disapprove, per se, but that the stories don't require them. I do think kids get enough sex thrown at them in media that I don't mind writing a story that shows you can have a relationship without sex. But--that doesn't mean ignoring it! Sex and romance are so complicated from the point of view of a teenager (at least, it was for me!). You're right--it's all so new, and that should come through.

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  10. Loved this post! My current WIP is YA, and while there's no sex, there's a lot of . . . exploring. Like you said, I just let myself go while writing the scenes. Sometimes I couldn't believe what I was writing, but at the same time, I loved the honesty that came through.

    Great post!

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  11. Now see, you're being responsible about the sex scenes in YA books. What gets me is the YA books with adult level stuff. That and some of the YA books with sex scenes getting into Elementary level schools. I know kids are curious, I know they know more than I do half the time. XD But I guess I am feeling the same way about sex and violence getting out of hand on TV and movies, desensitizing kids. That's just my opinion though. Take it or leave it. ;) Great post though!

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  12. I've just finished writing a YA book with 2 very different sex scenes in it. Neither is graphic, but you get a real sense of what is happening in each, and how it affects the characters involved. I think trying to ignore the fact teenagers have sex and are curious and excited about it is a little naive. Treating it as a natural and normal part of life (which it is) will do a lot to help kids be more responsible and make better informed decisions about it.

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  13. I was just thinking about boundaries - both setting them and breaking them in YA sex scenes. Your post helped put things in perspective. Thanks.

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  14. Thanks for the tips! I've got a sex scene in the novel I'm (re)writing, and it got BAD reviews from my beta readers. Trying to keep it hot and non-hilarious is difficult.

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